A ROYAL DECREE HAS BEEN ISSUED: Nothing says 'happy birthday, peasant' quite like a talking king formally acknowledging that your loved one exists. Open this funny birthday card and His Excellency delivers a plummy, self-important address, waves at the commoners and lights up the entire palace. A sarcastic, posh birthday card you will not find in the corner shop SPEAKS (DOWN TO YOU): Crack open this daft b'day card and a hidden speaker plays a ~30 second royal speech with all the warmth of a man whose tea has gone cold. Inside it reads: "Royal knees up to commence. I am pleased to learn of your birthday. A notable occasion, if not entirely unexpected. Do try to enjoy it. Carry on." WAVES (AT HIS SUBJECTS): x2 automatic 3D moving parts send the king raving and waving to the adoring public, plus a raised 3D cape for extra pomp. All protocol goes straight out of the palace window LIGHTS UP (THE THRONE ROOM): x24 optic lights blaze into life on opening. Yes, 24. No knees-up is complete unless it is absolutely lit PROPERLY POSH: Large A5 on thick 300gsm textured card with gold hot-foil detailing, the same luxe, weighty stock an actual palace would use. FSC certified, double-sided full-colour print, thick coloured envelope included. It looks genuinely regal right up until they open it THE GIFTER'S MOMENT: Sound, lights and movement all start automatically ~2 seconds after opening, so for one glorious moment they think you bought them a tasteful card. Plays 3 times then pauses so they can actually read your note; open and close to restart him. 2,000+ plays, so expect it to do a lap of the whole party LONG LIVE THE BIRTHDAY PEASANT: The best birthday card for him or her, dad, mum, brother, sister, or the mate who treats every birthday like a Jubilee. Card only (no butterfly). Hand-assembled by a small business with love and very little remaining sanity
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